That Thing You're Thinking About? Do It for Your Future Self
Plus a three-word trick to figuring out your personal style, courtesy of art advisor and interior designer Audra Kiewiet de Jonge.
Issue no. 8 of the print magazine is almost here!
We’re ordering copies for our subscribers and then just a few extras to sell. If you want to make sure you get In Kind no. 8 physically in your hands, subscribe or preorder now. P.S. All new subscriptions will start with issue no. 7 before receiving no. 8 next month.
Every good conversation starts with a single question. Whether it's wondering how, why, or what, it's the place we jump off from—and into the moments where all the good stuff happens.
After staring at art-forward interior designer Audra Kiewiet de Jonge’s business card for months—and the thoughtful way it asked for three words—Leah decided to ring her up for a chat.
Leah: Your work is in the art world, but there’s such a corollary with fashion. Your business card says “every truly great collection is a form of portraiture—it reflects the person behind it” and those words could 100 percent be about a wardrobe.
Talk to me about how you direct clients. I think about your business card all the time, and it’s still on my desk. It instructs people to “describe your core interests and styles in three words each: two foundational attributes and one unique.”
What does that mean exactly? And then when someone does it, where do they go from there?
Audra: When I was making that card I was trying to distill a much larger get-to-know-you conversation I have with clients. These really fascinating, accomplished people are at a position in their life where they’re ready to start collecting art, they want to do it, but for whatever reason they feel like they don't know where to start, what you “should” collect. They don’t know what they like; they feel intimidated by expressing a critique or preference over something they feel they don’t know anything about.
Art is taught to us in the wrong in way, in the sense that it’s an extension of who we are. It helps us as human beings. The reason art exists is because people have so many layers and incredible abilities to make connections between things—things that have no function other than [being] an awesome thought. I want [clients] to feel that’s something they should access and have as part of an enriched life.
The idea of writing down three words—it sounds simple, but instantly my brain starts overthinking it.
Most people haven’t thought about their personal style very much. We kind of know what we like, but a lot of us aren't that confident in how we dress. Use a scratch paper, write down a bunch of ideas, and see what the bigger things are that emerge from that, sort of like a brainstorm session or an association session.
I was thinking: What do I like? What’s the broad category? If I was to sweepingly express that in one to two words, I’ve always been interested in: classical history; historic old things; culture. And the natural world: admiring the seasons, admiring flowers, the shapes of leaves, the incredible geometry and beauty and miracle that is the living, breathing environment. I find infinite inspiration there.
For me, what makes a collection or style really sing is balance and juxtaposition, and I want that last [word] to not necessarily be something you’ve always loved or been drawn to but is a foil to those two foundational qualities. It adds a new dimension or has a conversation that is unexpected.
My example is modernism. I love history and old things, but I really need them to be uncluttered and purposeful and functional. And clean and fresh. I want living with old things to not feel old or museum’y or historical or period. I like the openness and experimentation that comes with that.
Those would be examples from my perspective of my core attributes and interests.
It’s so interesting to hear you lay it out, because while it’s clearly regarding art, it really does have such a similarity to fashion.
It’s a nice way to think about a survey of what you have or what you do with your things.
When I did the Marie Kondo wardrobing thing, I was considering what I liked about fashion. What do I gravitate toward? It’s bigger than just clothes. It’s personal expression. It’s crafting a persona or making a combination of other people’s designs that are uniquely yours—that’s where the true joy and beauty of fashion really exists.
I highly recommend everyone does the Marie Kondo thing. It really does tell you what you like. Our brains don’t understand the negative. “I don’t like this anymore” is how we approach cleaning out a wardrobe or house, but what our brain really activates on is the good and positive. When we're thinking about the negative, we’re thinking about it in opposition to how we really live.
Everybody’s experience doing this kind of exercise is different, but it does tell you a lot about what you like—and what speaks to you should be the foundation of any great collection. That’s the question I like people to ask themselves. Not, “Do you like it?” but “Does it speak to you?”
You don’t need to know what it’s saying, but do you feel it communicating to you? Does it change your resting state? That’s a really good way to start making an understanding of what you might like or want to live with.
We each already know what we like, what’s innately us. It’s inside you, just waiting to be unearthed or displayed. It’s not something you have to change or figure out, beyond just unpacking it.
There’s this documentary about Peggy Guggenheim where the expert being interviewed said something to the effect that she sought out this art as a mirror for her own strangeness. She really was so avant garde in her collecting that inside she was really like a weird person, the collection brought that out in the most incredible , interesting and prescient way. She could really tap into what was happening and what was going to be big, because she was willing to take the risk on things that moved her that were weird or weird for the time.
Being open to those sorts of insights is really powerful.
Art and fashion, like so many other categories really, are just about personal expression. And when we see someone who has really standout personal style, it’s because they’re tuned into themselves.
Fashion and art have so many parallels. It’s a conversation we don’t have enough, about what we like to wear and what we like and how we project who we are. That's where the portrait piece really comes in. When we’re having a portrait made, whether by a court painter 100 years ago or a selfie now, we’re projecting a certain version of ourselves.
A collection is also a version of ourselves. Whether or not we’re doing it intentionally, it is creating a way of seeing a person through their things. I find there are incredibly direct parallels between what I like to collect in terms of art and objects and what I buy to wear in terms of clothing.
The [business] card isn’t 100 percent a solution, but it is something when people are feeling a bit out to sea with, what do I like?? Returning to the things you like to see if they're lining up with what’s speaking to you can really help in that exercise of making a collection that means something to you.
And just like that, it’s both shearling Birkenstock season and almost-swimsuit season…
It’s a happy time of year when shearling Birks work—and early spring in the Northeast is that to a tee. I wore my pair on errands over the weekend, but if I was in the market right now, this big buckle style would totally have my attention.
Team In Kind loves Dorsey, and while the brand is maybe best known for its rivieres and tennis bracelets, I’m probably most obsessed with my cocktail rings (including this 5.8-carat lab-grown sapphire stunner).
A beauty publicist friend gifted this YSL oldie-but-a-goodie to me at a lunch date. It sits on my desk, and I love the light amount of color and shine it provides for Zoom calls.
Swimsuit season is, shockingly, going to be here before you know it. The perfect suit for me is a classic shape in basic black, and I am very into this tie-strap style (for under $150!).
Timeless accessories are all I want to wear, and I love the freedom that comes with wearing a watch: I’m untethered from my phone in a way that’s unique since I no longer feel the need to keep it out and obvious in order to track the time. This slim wrap style is beautiful and looks way more expensive than the price tag.—LMC
We’re sharing more of the things we love on ShopMy—come find us there! xx
Do It For Your Future Self
The secret to staying disciplined is understanding what we’ll want—not now, necessarily—but later on. Words by Hannah Weil McKinley
I’m sitting upstairs in our guest room, where I’ve been isolating, after almost a week out with the stomach flu. I’ve reached the part where it’s not longer entertaining to binge Netflix and I’m desperate to get over this thing to return to my normal pace again, to wake up with my kids and put them to bed at night. I’ve been missing it.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to In Kind on Monday to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.