"Amazing" Comes After "Impossible"

"If you could make room for possibility, what would you go after?"

On the Other Side

Words by Hannah Weil McKinley

I’m highly attuned to the little signs the universe is sending me to keep at it. So, I’m half-watching a movie my daughters have on on a Saturday night, and the dialogue in a preview stops me. One of the characters says “Impossible” as they glide through a river in a tiny boat, avoiding obstacles and flying unscathed. Another chimes in, “Amazing!” she says.

On the other side of something impossible is something amazing, I think. And it’s just waiting for you to claim it.

It’s perspective shifting, making room for goodness to come into view despite the odds stacked against you. I think if you’re someone who’s ever had anxious thoughts, you probably recognize this as an important part of reframing your worries. “What if I fail?” is an all-too-familiar hang-up. We’re prompted to ask ourselves instead: “What if you succeed?”

There are moments, of course, when the suggestion has worked its magic—given me the ability to push the uncomfortable thoughts and free my mind for a bit. But the real ability to shake it off, to retrain your brain leads to greater rewards. It isn’t just the one-time victory, it’s witnessing what you thought was impossible dazzle you, then convince you of all the alternate outcomes you might have. If you could make room for possibility, what would you go after?

It’s what I’ve been circling around since finishing Let Them (which I’ve talked about plenty here). When you let go of expectations and fear, you make space for the things that never seemed entirely attainable to be yours. You make the time to pursue them, regardless of what any audience might think—what they might see when they look at you, trying and failing and deciding you want something else, then going after that, too. What’s “amazing” is what they’ll see when you’re coming out the other side; but they might tell you it’s “impossible” first. The truth is, we’re the worst offenders. We’ve convinced ourselves too many times—over and over again— that it’s pointless. That we can’t.

We started doing this thing with my older daughter. My seven year-old has begun to piece together her reality—the risks and the consequences around her. It’s humbling to watch her—she’s as fearful as her mother is, sometimes worried about small things like a door locking her in a public bathroom or the rides at an amusement park breaking down with her stuck inside. She panicked boarding a small ride at Disneyland last year. She started and stopped, attempting to get on and holding the line up while she sobbed and shook. We couldn’t coax her on, so I took her while my little one and my husband took their turn together.

We sat on a bench nearby, talking through it. How scared she was, and also, how she wished she was brave enough to do it. When her sister and her dad came out, we tried again. This time, with tears, she stepped on and as the ride took off, I heard her screaming behind me. My husband sat with her; I sat with my younger daughter, watching her smile and thinking about my first grader struggling just a row back. But when we got off, she was smiling—a huge, real smile. No small feat for a girl that shaken up. So, we seized the moment—we took a picture of her, smiling, soaking in her victory to remind her of what she’s capable of. And, we use it often.

We’ll grab our phones and show it to her when she’s doubting herself again, stuck in some nervous thinking. It’s wild to behold, watching her stare at herself on the other side of something that tested her. She’ll take it in as we retell the story, recounting how it challenged her, how high the stakes were, how unlikely it all seemed. And when we finally ask her about it—how did it feel? Her eyes light up when she answers, “It was amazing”, as she readies herself for the next thing she’ll do.

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Material proof that spring’s approaching, via the things on my mind.

1. Now’s about the time when I try to resist the siren song of all the dresses in my closet, because while I’m a little tired of jeans, I know I’ll miss them when the season sets in and they suddenly feel too hot. This pair is my current obsession.

2. It’s always nice to know you’re not alone, and a birthday brunch this weekend reminded me that other women are just as phone case-obsessed as me. My current favorite is this velvety soft silicone option. We passed it around the table, and I might just have three new girlfriend with friendship cases.

3. Swim season isn’t here yet, but I’m already thinking about it. This sporty suit from a new brand caught my eye: I like the monochrome simplicity and am curious about the fit (it’s made from a recycled nylon with Spandex, which should be ultra flattering).

4. I wrote a lot about the raffia crossbody bag I carried constantly last spring and summer, and this season’s bucket-bag version looks just as good. The shape and material both give off ‘effortlessly cool’ vibes (and the <$60 price point is fab).

5. Spring weather is lovely in so many ways, but sartorially wise, I’m always so happy to slip into woven flats that offer coverage but a seriously beautiful breezy feeling. This is a category I wouldn’t scrimp on: You can tell the difference between luxe handwoven leather and not (and your feet can feel it). xLeah

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Doubling down on good jackets.