Start Believing the Good Stuff

Plus, Hannah's thoughts on what inspired the "self-care generation" story from inside the new issue of the magazine.

Believe the Good Stuff

Words by Leah Melby Clinton

Life is hard, from the big, heartbreaking things to the small daily paper cuts and irritations. After you’ve gone through a few decades, and a few iterations of yourself, you’ve likely had the bad alongside the good: the people that underestimated you; the snide or cutting remark; the things that felt absolutely meant for you yet passed by, barely slowing down.

It’s life, and when we’re able to connect the dots, we tend to see it all fit together in some grand scheme—that many of the hard things forged a clearer pathway to the very good.

There’s the flipside of the coin, though, that isn’t talked about enough. Balancing out all of those character-testing, mettle-building moments are the ones that are so very good. Compliments and kindnesses, minor moments where the universe winked at you to let you know that, yes, the thing you were doing and saying and the way you were charting your course was right.

They probably happen more than you even realize, especially when you take into account the small ones. Perhaps it’s that we’ve trained ourselves to not notice some of them, to hear it as a throwaway that goes in one ear and out the other. (Or you’re just so busy plowing ahead that you almost literally don’t even clock the compliment.)

That’s part of it, but I also worry that there’s something more insidious affecting a lot of the women in this virtual room. We’re liable to push it away, telling ourselves the giver is just being overly kind or gracious or—and this is the worst—actually lying.

Haven’t you done that? Read a nice email or review or heard something a boss or manager said in a review and thought, Well, that’s nice, but they definitely don’t mean it.

The achingly huge problem there isn’t that we’re bad at accepting compliments, deflecting them to not absorb too much of the light, but that we’ve tricked our brains into negating the source material. Instead of hearing and believing and letting that goodness into our awareness, shoring ourselves up against the letdowns and disappointments that will come as part of living, we ignore it.

It’s nourishment, yet we don’t sip.

We ought to believe the good just as much as we do the bad. Receive, learn from, and then release the negatives. But the good? The compliments and the acknowledgements and the praise? Receive, learn from, and keep, tucked close to your heart and head.

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Spring has me thinking comfy, casual, and cool.

1. A good pair of pajamas is always a must, and I start to think of the ideal set differently when the weather means I can pop outside in mine for a coffee or early-morning play session. Lake has always been a go-to, and I love this soft seersucker set (and a bracelet-length sleeve? Sign me up!).

2. To be super candid, I was suspicious these slippers would look dingy or worn-in (in that grooved-footprint way) after six months or so of wear, but mine look fab. There’s something about the foam composition of the soles, too—so, so comfy.

3. Makeup-wise, I don’t do much, and I love product that’s easy to use and gives off a no-makeup look. This kit is that in spades, and it lives up to its “hero” moniker. I keep it stashed in my downstairs bathroom so if I’m dashing to get ready I can still have a touch of polish. The mirrors in my Pilates classroom confirm: It’s the perfect combo for looking just a bit refreshed and glowy.